Thank you all for your very kind responses, I surely needed them. My MIL said this is the "empty nest" feelings becoming a reality. Things are much better this week.
Tyler, Zane and I did a lot of talking and have agreed that he would go for 2 weeks then come home for 1 week. I would never consider this option if I didn't like Bio Dad's girlfriend. She has a daughter in College and the other will be a senior next year. We had a long talk mom to mom about my concerns. She reassured me that Tyler will not have free reign, and that he will have the same curfews and rules she enforces with her girls. The door is open for me to stop by anytime. I also had a great talk with Tyler about his why's and my concerns. I didn't sugar coat anything and told him exactly why I am hesitant. I feel our good heart to heart talk actually made us closer and we both understand each others feelings.
As the day gets closer for him to go for his extended stay, he keeps making little comments like.... "You know, I was thinking, on the days I don't have to work, maybe I will come home during the day while my dad and Mary are at work". Then he thought he was going to take the dog, that's a negative. Last night he said "you know, just because I am going to be there 2 weeks straight, doesn't mean I can't stop by, it's only a couple miles."
These little comments are all indicators to me that now that this is reality, he is thinking a bit more about it. I have just been reassuring him that he can come home anytime. This is his home, he should never feel like he is "visiting". I also reinforced that just because he is not staying here for a couple weeks at a time, doesn't mean I don't need to know whats going on in his day to day life, not because I don't trust him, but because I care and want to know what he's up to. It is important to me. He laughed and said "so I will still be getting them daily calls while your at work?". I said of course, it's a mom thing, something I just gotta do.
I will be quite surprised if he stays the entire summer. My gut tells me he will go for a couple weeks, then that's it. Time will tell.
When we told Emily, her response was.... "If Tyler thinks he is taking the laptop charger for the summer, he has another thing coming" (they share a charger, since one is broken). Typical teenage sister! She did say she will miss him, but only because now she will need to let the dog out all the time. Gotta love her. I am sure she will miss him more than she thinks. After all who will she have to argue with?
Holy cow!!! I almost have a page done, just a couple little finishing touches. Hopefully tomorrow I can wrap it up. Emily's softball games started today, so we have a few weeks of that consuming our evenings. Fun times though, wouldn't trade them for the world!